Continuing discipleship
We had interviews this week and President and I got to talk about all the goals coming up and it was incredible! I'm going to miss him so much! I'm so grateful for president Hutchison and all he's done for me.
He taught me something amazing and reminded me of an amazing story after Jesus Christ died and seven of the disciples wondered what to do, what was next but Peter said to them, "Let's go fish," so they did and caught nothing. Then Jesus appeared again and told them what to do and they caught fish. Then the disciples realized it was the Lord. They had a beautiful reunion I can only imagine. But then Jesus asked them, "Do you love me?" And then Elder Holland says something that stood out to me:
"Then Peter, why are you here? Why are we back on this same shore, by these same nets, having this same conversation? Wasn’t it obvious then and isn’t it obvious now that if I want fish, I can get fish? What I need, Peter, are disciples—and I need them forever. I need someone to feed my sheep and save my lambs. I need someone to preach my gospel and defend my faith. I need someone who loves me, truly, truly loves me, and loves what our Father in Heaven has commissioned me to do. Ours is not a feeble message. It is not a fleeting task. It is not hapless; it is not hopeless; it is not to be consigned to the ash heap of history. It is the work of Almighty God, and it is to change the world. So, Peter, for the second and presumably the last time, I am asking you to leave all this and to go teach and testify, labor and serve loyally until the day in which they will do to you exactly what they did to me.”
When we walk with Christ and have walked with Him, we are never the same. Our desires have changed. We need to hold onto what we have learned and felt and continue to wear His name on our heart. I want to be His disciple that doesn't go back to fishing. I have seen what they can make out of people and I'm grateful they're still working on me. I will continue to feed His sheep and learn of Him. Christ has changed me, I have walked with Him every day.
I had a beautiful experience in sacrament meeting yesterday that I want to remember so I'm writing about it. I went to bed Saturday night sick to my stomach because of anxiety. I woke up still feeling it and couldn't do much because of it. So I tried to do personal study and take my mind off it and all I could think about was how ready I was to be at church and to take the sacrament I just needed it. So I got to church and after the sacrament, I felt a little better. Then they played Hymn number 97 and I thought to myself, "Why not Hymn 98?" I like that one much better, but as we started to sing, the Spirit spoke to me and the words hit home.
"Lead, kindly Light, amid th’encircling gloom; Lead thou me on! The night is dark, and I am far from home; Lead thou me on! Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see The distant scene—one step enough for me. I was not ever thus, nor pray’d that thou Shouldst lead me on. I loved to choose and see my path; but now, Lead thou me on!"
In this moment, I knew God knew what I needed and he spoke to me through a song. I have never felt this anxious in my life, this sad for a chapter to end, scared for what's to come, scared to see what's ahead but the distant scene one step of faith is truly enough for me. I would love to choose and decide what my path will look like, but I can't so I know he will keep leading me on like he has since day one. I have complete confidence in Him and I know He will help mold me into the divine potential he has for me. They're teaching me every day to continue to put my trust in them and faith in them. They're truly my source of light!
So sorry for this email to be all over the place, I wasn't expecting that. But overall it was a good week, I love my companions and we have a big few weeks ahead of us. Our next p-day is on Wednesday next week because we are going to the temple 😊😊, but some really happy news--our friend Nelson is getting baptized on October 7th! We taught him the Word of Wisdom and his faith is amazing. He is bringing us ALL his alcohol on Wednesday so we can all throw it away together. God works so many miracles behind the doors. Remember that because I need to be reminded it every day. God is mindful of his children and I know that! He puts people in our path!
A lesson I've learned on my mission is how important sacrifice is. There's a reason it's a covenant we make, there's a reason we sing "sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven." It's real and it's important!! On my mission, I've learned how important sacrifice is, its like fasting. We remove it to show God we are willing to do HIS WILL even when it's so hard! I read a scripture this week on Oliver Granger. He was asked to leave everything behind to go help settle the business affairs in Kirtland! Well, let's just say his mission was hard and very unsuccessful!! In other words, a lot of missionaries compare baptisms, how many people they taught, and it can be HARD! But what God says to Oliver I like to replace it with my name.
"12 And again, I say unto you, I remember my servant Oliver Granger; behold, verily I say unto him that his name shall be had in sacred remembrance from generation to generation, forever and ever, saith the Lord. 13 Therefore, let him contend earnestly for the redemption of the First Presidency of my Church, saith the Lord; and when he falls he shall rise again, for his sacrifice shall be more sacred unto me than his increase, saith the Lord."
God remembers our sacrifices. He knows what we put on that altar is NOT easy but he makes up for the rest. I've seen blessings from sacrificing and I know my family has, too, and I know it is sacred to the Lord and for that, I am grateful.
#CTR
-SISTER HANNAH COPELAND
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